A Safe Place To Cry And Laugh
By Joy Knepp
September 1, 2011
Dear reader, you are going to be blessed reading Joy's article. It is written from the heart and I have no doubt that, like me, you will be able to relate and soak in every word. I remember so well when I started dating my wife, Esther. I thought to myself, we will never get into an argument. As far as I was concerned, everything was going to be rose beds and sweet honey. That, however, changed early on in marriage. I found out that marriage takes a lot of hard work, sweat and sometimes many tears and lots of prayer. Having said that, I would also like to say: marriage is well worth it - I would marry my wife a hundred times over. -Joe Keim
Well, it's been awhile since I wrote... but that does NOT mean that God hasn't been teaching and revealing things to me! I'm gonna tell you about the biggest thing that has happened to me this year. It might not sound big to you but to me it was HUGE, Thank You, Jesus! :)
This year started off VERY rocky for us in more than one way, but in the middle of all the chaos God gave me a golden nugget. You know, I've always desired to be a good wife but felt like I failed miserably in many different ways, but Psalms 37:4 says:
"Delight thyself in the Lord; and He shall give you the desires of thine heart."
I believe God always knows the desires of my heart and He gives me wisdom in little doses as I can handle it. I also believe that sometimes God has to shake my world (sometimes in a not-so-pleasant way!!) so I'm willing to listen to what He wants to tell me, which is exactly what happened the beginning of this year.
My husband and I had hit some rocks in our marriage and weren't sure how to fix things and move forward. I was bent out of shape and not at all in a praying mood... I did a lot of "groaning in my spirit", tho. :) But, one day, God so tenderly and mercifully, planted a beautiful thing into my mind... and our marriage has soared to heights we had never known! Ladies, let me tell you, God has given us a huge, important job when He created us to be a man's helpmeet!!
But, anyway, the words that God put in my mind was, "Joy, have you ever TRUELY been your husband's safe place?" At first it was a little like gears grinding inside of me, because don't we all want to think "it's his fault, he should come apologize to me first"? :)
But the words, "safe place" kept playing over and over in my mind like a broken record so finally I grabbed my Bible, in a rather heated manner, and started looking for the verse that had those words in it. Now, I had read that verse many times but it had never soaked in like it did that day.
"The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil." -Proverbs 31:11
Think about the safest place you can imagine. I don't know where that is for you all because we're all different, but for myself, I think about a beautiful room where I can cry if I'm sad and laugh when I'm happy and I don't have to worry that someone will say I'm crazy or weird. I can say anything that's on my mind.
Anytime the world is going crazy around me and things feel out of control in my life I can go into that room and be safe in whatever mood I'm in. I can always totally relax and let the cares roll off of me in that room.
What if, one day, I'd be sad and upset and I would want to go into my beautiful, safe room to get sweet relief... only to discover the door is locked? I would probably go around looking for other doors or a window because I know what's inside of that room and I need that feeling so I can cope with life and whatever situation I'm in. I would probably bang on the door and walls and shout things that I really didn't mean, out of desperation. How long would I try to get in before I'd give up? How would I feel when I'd finally give up? I would probably feel rejected, unloved, unwanted, worthless, ugly, etc. Would I try to convince myself that I don't need a safe place, or would I be tempted to go look for another safe place?
Well, it was a bitter pill for me, but that's exactly how my husband feels when I am not his safe place. When I told him what God had revealed to me, he cried and said that is exactly how he feels but had no idea how to tell me, and he was afraid to try to tell me for fear of what I would say. Our marriage hasn't been the same since that and we both love the change! :)
Is the door to my husband's safe place always open or does he sometimes have to look to another place? I praise God He shook me up and challenged me with this even if it took something painful to wake me up!
I will pray for all of you reading this, because I believe God wants amazing things for our marriages!
Love you all, Joy
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