Marriages, Mistakes, and Miracles
By Joy Knepp
July 1, 2009
I remember on our wedding day the future looked so bright and wonderful but all too soon Jay said or did things that didn't quite measure up to my idea of how a husband should be and right there was my #1 mistake- EXPECTATIONS - OUCH! Never, never, have them because a human husband can hardly ever live up to a human wife's expectations.
Then came my #2 problem - I didn't know how to forgive him and release him from whatever "sin" he had committed. So I would, in my mind, "take him to court" and of course find him "guilty" and then sentence him to whatever I felt he deserved: chewing outs, silent treatments, etc, etc!! Oh, yes, also the "poor little me" attitude, which I have shortened to "PLOM".
Well, God never asked us to change our husbands but He has commanded us to reverence them, and leave the changing to Him. In Eph. 5:33, the last part of the verse, it tells us "...and the wife see that she reverence her husband. "
If you look the word reverence up in the dictionary-one meaning is "to be in awe of" also "respect". I KNOW that when we truly reverence (from the heart) them they have a much greater desire to please us but even then, don't forget they are HUMAN and think so much different than woman. Also, remember they cannot read our minds and when we expect them to read our minds, it's like a teacher grading a test the student never got.
But I get carried away, back to forgiveness. Don't ever wait until you feel like forgiving; we must make a mental choice to forgive and ask God to bring our feelings in line. One of the devil's major tools is the idea that you can't forgive until you FEEL like it. I like to think of it as a tractor and trailer-the tractor being your choice and the trailer being your feelings. As long as the tractor is in the ditch, your trailer is there too, but once you get your tractor on the road, the trailer will follow. Also a good verse to remember on the subject of forgiveness is Eph. 4:32, And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
The Word of God gives no place on waiting for feelings. And once we realize how much God has forgiven us, how can we withhold forgiveness from another person?????
Problem #3 - For me, it was not at all understanding the headship order that was ordained by God in the very beginning. Think of it as an umbrella. God, Jesus, Man, Woman, Children. The minute we women move out of our God designed place we are smack-dab out in the weather with NO PROTECTION whatsoever. Now, mind, I'm not saying women should be a doormat because I don't believe any man can love and respect a doormat, but when we step out of the head-ship order we are in rebellion to God's will, which the Bible says is like witchcraft-See 1 Sam. 15:23. So, you can expect the same symptoms as if you are in witchcraft. But anyway, Mary, I'm going to quit on that now.
You were always special to me and my desire is to see you enjoying God's gift of marriage to the fullest! It really truly is a taste of Heaven, because it represents Christ and His Bride, the Church.
I need to get a move on, got the dishes to wash and laundry to put away. You guys take care and hope to see you soon. We've been hankerin to take a trip to Grandma's house again!
Love you much and wishing you all the best.
Oh, Yes, one more thing, I was going to tell you, most men love to be praised. You probably know that already, but I thought I'd tell you. They really, really are little boys yet! Ha ha!! Better not tell Kyle that or he won't ever talk to me!! Just joking.
Also, want to thank you for all the times you helped me. I have never forgotten "Sel gute-manich Mary!" Uh-oh, another thing, we can make or break our husbands. I'll quit now (for real) (smiley face)
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