The Struggles of Marriage
By E. Miller
January 1, 2021
Did you know that marriage is crazy hard? If you're married, I'm sure you can relate.
For many years, Laurie and I struggled with this thing called marriage. It just didn't work for us like it always does in the movies. We fought like cats and dogs. I was too wild. Laurie was so spiritual it made me sick. I could NEVER live up to her expectations. I had zero desire to sit around all depressed and read. She had zero desire to traipse all over creation with me on my wild excursions. I simply couldn't understand why she didn't understand what it took to keep my heart alive. She simply didn't understand why I didn't relate to her heart. I said she was so heavenly minded that she was no earthly good. She said I was so carnal minded that I was no good at all! All while each of us desperately tried to keep our own hearts alive. Empty hearts cause us to lash out toward those we love the most, and we did just that. Each other and our kids. Our home was basically a verbal war zone.
But then someone gave us the book "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge. I remember reading the first chapter and throwing it across the floor. This simply couldn't be real!! It so resonated with my heart that I knew if I kept on reading, something had to happen. So I didn't. Not for a few years. But then I picked it up again and read it. With Laurie. It started us on a journey of releasing each other along with the help of some dear friends.
I came to realize that Laurie is an intercessor. Laurie slowly came to realize that I'm wired pretty hot. My mission field involves crazy adventures. We were able to trust even though we did not understand each others calling. We loved anyway. And... we watched each other blossom into what God had in mind all along!
To let go and allow each other to be who they are in marriage is the hardest thing. If the other partner would only change a few things it would sure make life much easier for me! Right?! But that's not marriage. That's control. Freedom is the opposite of control.
Set them free! Let go and let God! It's not my job to convict my spouse. It's our job to love and respect each other and let God do the convicting. Then, at that point we'll ask our spouse to help us change. It's the only way. It lasts.
Bahhhh!!! If we had only known this in our early years. But we know now.
Two books that we would totally recommend:
Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge and Boundaries, by Dr. Henry Cloud. ...and find some good older friends to hang out with.
Order both books:
In Wild at Heart, John Eldredge inspires and speaks to the soul of Christian men everywhere. Do you dare to be the man God created you to be---passionate, adventurous, and free? In this revised edition of his look at Christian manhood, Eldredge challenges you to pursue the purpose God has given you. Encouragement for every man who wants to walk the road least taken---and insights for the woman who loves him! 272 pages, softcover from Nelson. —$12 (includes shipping)
Boundaries is the book that's helped over 4 million people learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of their lives. Does your life feel like it's out of control? Perhaps you feel like you have to say yes to everyone's requests. Maybe you find yourself readily taking responsibility for others' feelings and problems. Or perhaps you focus so much on being loving and unselfish that you've forgotten your own limits and limitations. Or maybe it's all of the above. —$18 (includes shipping)
How to Order
Wild at Heart and Boundaries can be ordered by simply sending your payment to the Amish Voice, 575 US Highway 250, Greenwich, OH 44837.
To pay by credit card, call our office at (419) 962-1515.
Be sure to specify which book(s) you are interested in.
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