Fear and Control - Just Feelings?
By Norma Miller
May 1, 2018
May I talk with you about something close to my heart? There is a word I hear a lot of these days, and that word is anxiety. Anxiety, worry, and feeling scared are all the same thing. They can all be summed up in one word, and that is FEAR (false evidence appearing real!). Now don’t get me wrong, folks- I do experience fear. In fact, I recently became aware of how much fear has actually been in my life! I used to be irritated by the word “anxiety” and thought I was not much affected by it, but since my mother died, I suddenly became more aware of it and realized it was a bigger issue than I knew!
But I don’t think we are all aware of what fear actually is! Did you know it is not just a feeling, but it is actually a spirit? And not one from God either! God tells us in scripture that God has not given us a SPIRIT OF FEAR but of power, love, and sound mind. He also says that Perfect Love (which is Himself) casts out all fear. If it can be cast out, it is not just a feeling! This revelation has been very beneficial in helping me work through my insecurities, fear, anxiety. When we see something for what it is, we can be much more equipped to handle it.
Something else I feel should be pointed out is our tendency to control if we feel insecure, fearful, or anxious. We will do things to try to make our surroundings or circumstances feel more secure. This is especially true if we have been through a lot of trauma. This is a knee-jerk reaction, but it doesn’t make it right.
Now I am not a person who tends to control anyone. I have a lot of grace for others. However, God recently made me aware of a couple of areas where I would try to control. Now if you had been through some of the experiences I was, you would probably have responded in a similar way, but again, it is still control. I just want to share it with you to show you how this works. My husband did a lot of traveling in his business for the last 8 years. It was a sore spot for me and it seemed his trips didn’t plan themselves around important events very well at all. I felt very alone and unsupported at home with the children. Some of these years, he spent more time away from home than at home, and worst of all, it was during a fragile time in our marriage and family. But what God started showing me was that I would try my best to keep my husband at home so I could feel safer.
While I think my reaction was very understandable given the circumstances, it was still an area of control. Often it amounts to the simple fact that we do not trust God to protect us from those who hurt us. I can draw a pretty straight line from the moments I didn’t trust God to take care of me to the decisions I made in place of trusting Him.
I can also tell you how well they worked out for me! Not. Well. At. All. I spent a good seven years recovering from and cleaning up a mess I made that started about nine years ago. In fact, I am still healing, and so are others. Trust me - it isn’t worth it to not trust God. He is much more capable of taking care of us than we are taking care of ourselves! I choose to trust Him. He is my safe place.
How about you?
Will you trust Him to fix your mess?
Will you trust Him to fix your husband or your wife?
Will you try to do it yourself?
May I tell you what will happen if you try to fix it yourself? You will wear yourself out!! And you will have a bigger mess! Let Him do it. He is good at His job!
— Norma Miller
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