Give it to ME, Says the Lord
By Norma Miller
June 29, 2014
I have been learning a LOT about true surrender; what it involves, what it looks like, and how much it costs. What does true surrender involve? It involves truly letting go of someone or something (a situation, goal, desire, or dream) and giving it totally to the Lord. It does not mean giving up life or hope. It means realizing that God has a wonderful plan for us, if we are willing to give Him a chance.
What does true surrender look like? It can take many forms, I am sure. It can be very, very painful and tearful, especially if we need to let go of hope, desire, dreams, or a loved one. God will not work out a situation if we cannot let it go. If I do not give Him my husband, my children, my goals and dreams, or my problems, how can He freely work on them? We have way more control than we realize. However, as we give ourselves and our problems to the Lord, we are releasing God to work on others and on their problems. If we won't let go, how will God take over?
How much does true surrender cost? This is a big question, and it does not have an easy answer. True surrender often comes at a great cost. It often involves letting go of dreams, hopes, and people we love with no assurance we will ever get them back. For the last six years, I have faced huge disappointments, losses, and broken dreams. I felt like I was dying, and that life was not worth living. I went through the agony of being rejected and misunderstood in a very public way. I tried to let go, but I felt incomplete. It hurt incredibly beyond what I believed was possible. I went through the process of letting go over and over, only to reach out and take my problem back, time and time again. The agony this has caused me has been overwhelming.
I wish so badly that years ago I had been able to hear and understand what I heard yesterday. I am greatly blessed in having a mentor. She is a sweet, older lady from my church who has been through some of the same horrific pain I have. She has put into words the beauty of true surrender and what God can do when we truly let go.
The long and the short of it is this: I have been in torment for years. Does God bring torment? Never. If we are in torment, it means we have a door open to the enemy.
My open door was that I kept taking things back after I thought I had given them to the Lord; I kept feeding unfulfilled dreams and desires. My mentor asked me why on earth I would want to keep doing that to myself. I really cannot answer that one for you! I do have fears. That I know for certain. I fear that God will never give me the desires of my heart. I fear that I will never be fulfilled. I fear that I will go through life with an unending, aching void. I am not willing to do that. If I truly let go, God can work out the situation for me. He can return things to me if they are truly mine to have. He can work in my husband's heart. God can remove the desires and dreams from my heart that are not part of His will for me to experience in this life.
This sweet lady speaks with authority, because she has lived many years as a widow. In fact, her husband died the same month my husband and I were married! She has struggled and struggled with the unfairness and seeming emptiness of it all, but God has done amazing things in her life. She experienced much loneliness, hurt, and unmet longings, but she pushed past all of that and gave it to God completely. She experiences God in a way many people do not believe is possible. She helped me to see the intensely personal way God ministers to me. It is an expression of how much He loves me and believes in me that He allows me to go through the things I do. She has given me courage to lay down my own will for the will of my loving Father. After all, He is mighty stubborn (although always right), and as I learned, we can do it the easy way or the hard way, He is prepared to keep on as long as He needs to! He loves me too much to allow me to go in my own way. He wants me to experience all He has for me, and that is only possible through surrender. Will you surrender to Him, too?
— Love, Norma
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