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The Amish Voice 16

Non Profit Org.



Ashland, Ohio

Permit No. 188

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Phone ministries

listed on page 15!

Over time, repeated hurts can build up to

destroy a relationship, but these

suggestions can help you heal

before the damage is done.

For nearly two centuries, Beethoven's

death was a mystery. The famous

musician suffered from irritability,

depression, and abdominal pain. His

dying wish was that his illness would be

discovered so that "the world may be

reconciled to me after my death."

In 1994, two Americans launched a study

to determine the cause of Beethoven's

end. Chemical analysis of a strand of his

hair showed his killer—lead poisoning!

More than likely, it was a little poison in

everyday activities that took his life. It

could have come from drinking out of

lead-lined cups or having dinner on a




household items in that day. Or perhaps it

came from eating contaminated fish or

even the extensive consumption of wine.

It didn't come in one lump sum, but the

lead killed him slowly and quietly—one

little bit of poison at a time.

That's also how bitterness destroys a

marriage. It stores itself in the soul and

slowly poisons the one who carries it. It's

a blade meant for another that eventually

severs the hand that tightly conceals it.

Recently, I have witnessed what a bitter

wife does to a relationship. The problems

with her husband are real, and her anger

is justified. However, what keeps their

marriage from healing is not only the

problems that he has to overcome, but

also the prideful bitterness she guards in

her heart.

Little by little, day by day, she has

allowed this bitterness to poison her. Her





disappointing, and instead of confronting

the problem, she silently holds it against

him. He continues to make the same

mistakes, and she continues to harbor her


This pattern has gone on for years, and

now the love she once felt has numbed

and hardened her heart. Recently she

walked out on their marriage wearing a

list of her husband's transgressions as her

armor. Reflecting back on his behavior,

she nurses her wounds with words that

assure her that their marriage was a

mistake—"I knew it all along," she says.

What causes bitterness?

In every marriage, a husband or wife

does something that hurts the other. It's

bound to happen because none of us is

perfect. And in some cases, a spouse has

a habit of doing the same thing over and

over again, even after the behavior is


Bitterness comes when you hold onto

hurt and refuse to forgive the person who

hurt you. Most of the time, this comes as

a result of ongoing actions of a small

nature—lack of understanding, misuse of

finances, harsh comments—that build up

over time. Each offense takes residence

in the heart, and at some point there is no

more room left. That's when bitterness is

manifested and causes the most damage.

What's wrong with bitterness?

Continued, page 15

Don't Let Bitterness Poison Your Marriage

Sabrina Beasley McDonald