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The Amish Voice 10
“Well, did that help you?” said Jonas, who
seemed defensive.
“It did help me. It was as if a door opened
for me to come and adore the baby Jesus, but
it also led me to see beyond His birth all the
way to His cross and to His resurrection from
the dead. There’s something about His
resurrection which compels me to want to live
a Godly lifestyle.”
“Goot fa dich,” (good for you) Jonas spoke
into the darkness. “For me it’s not so easy.
You didn’t have to go through what I’m
experiencing. Do you remember that my
cousin, Levi, gave me the transistor radio so I
could listen to Gospel preachers?”
“Yes, I remember.”
“Well after we made hay last fall I snuck
out to the hayloft where I’d hidden and was
listening to a song—something about Jesus
dying on the cross for me. Billy Graham had
just come on when my old man caught me red-
handed with the forbidden instrument. We had
a big argument and he took it from me. I am
still angry!
“Calling your dad the ‘old man’ is not very
respectful.” David reminded him.
“We haven’t talked harmoniously since
that occasion. I absolutely refuse to forgive
him for what he did,” Jonas said.
“We have to walk in forgiveness if we will
receive God’s forgiveness in our own lives. In
the Lord’s Prayer recorded in Matthew 6:12,
we ask God to forgive our debts as we forgive
others. Living in forgiveness is a must for
God’s children. I recently heard that nobody
can hurt us unless we permit them to,” David
ventured.
“Now you’re preaching at me. I don’t need
that!”
“I’m sorry if it sounds that way, but I am
only sharing what the Word of God teaches
us.”
“I suppose now that you’re reading your
Bible, you think you have the right to throw
the Word of God at me,” Jonas exploded.
The two had reached the barn and were
unhitching their horses. David didn’t want to
leave the evening’s conversation on this note.
He placed his hand on Jonas’ shoulder and
pled with him. “Please don’t be angry with
me. You can learn about God’s Word the same
way I am learning. I am reading my Bible and
asking God to speak directly to me through it.
I am not going to say that there may not be a
day that I will be listening to sermons on the
radio. I don’t know that, but I find it important
to use what I have at hand. Please forgive me
if I have spoken out of turn.”
“I’ll think about it.” Jonas turned away and
climbed into his rig. David stood in silent
prayer and watched his friend head down the
road.
“I don’t know what lies ahead of me,”
he told himself. “
I know I have some hard
choices to make, and I pray I’ll always walk in
forgiveness.”
—Lydia Chorpening
Conflicting Choices—cont. from page 9
1.
Lack of communication.
Constant and
meaningful conversation is the lifeblood
of a marriage. You would think that all
marriages have meaningful conversation,
but they don't. Couples don't carve out
time. They're too tired. The husbands don't
want to talk. Television replaces conversa-
tion, and separation begins.
2.
Busyness.
We can be too busy for our
own good. A career is good, but not if it
comes at the expense of your marriage.
Hobbies are good, but not if it comes at
the expense of your marriage. Friends are
good, but not if they come at the expense
of your marriage. Even kids can drain
away precious energy from your marriage.
The couples that can't cut back see their
marriages float away in a sea of busyness.
3.
Selfishness.
At the core, marriage is about
serving your spouse, about submitting
yourself and your needs to the needs of
your spouse. If the couples can't grasp this,
submit their ego and embrace the concept
of mutual submission, then fault line
cracks will appear at the base of your mar-
riage.
4.
Can't overcome your family of origin.
Many spouses were raised in broken, abu-
sive, or dysfunctional homes. They walk
into marriage knowing only destructive
marriage habits from the example of their
parents. If they can't overcome and move
past their family of origin, their parents'
destructive marriage will become their
own destructive marriage.
5.
Unwilling to grow in your marriage.
Marriage is all about change. You change.
Your spouse changes. If you're unwilling
to grow and change with your spouse, you
don't have much of a shot. The trick of
marriage isn't finding a perfect spouse
who will never change, but to find a way
to continuously fall in love with your ever-
changing spouse.
6.
Lack of investment in your marriage.
Husbands, your marriage isn't complete
when you say "I do." Without constant and
intentional investment, your marriage will
struggle. Just like a farmer's work isn't
done when he plants the seed, neither is
your work done when you walk the aisle.
Marriage takes hard work, lots of it.
7.
Addictions overwhelm a spouse.
Some-
times a latent addiction can rear up and
consume a spouse. An eating disorder, a
pornography addiction, alcoholism, if left
unchecked, will wreck a marriage. It takes
two people to make a marriage work, but
only one person to wreck it.
8.
Bitterness and un-forgiveness over-
whelm you.
Your spouse will hurt you
more than any other person on the planet.
They will continually remind you that they
are a sinner in need of God's forgiveness.
Because you're the person closest to them,
you will deal with the brunt of their imper-
fections. If you choose to hold on to past
hurts and slights, bitterness will poison
your soul and consume you.
9.
You give up too easily.
Make no illu-
sions: marriage is tough. It's not for the
faint of heart. Every couple will come to
points where divorce seems like the easy
option. The marriage that works is the
marriage that chooses to fight when things
get tough, not quit.
10.
Sin entices and destroys the marriage.
Sin is always looking for a way to destroy
the beauty of your marriage. It may use
the approach of greed, selfishness, an af-
fair, or any other number of enticements.
If you're not constantly on your guard, sin
will destroy your marriage.
11.
The love grows cold.
Love is like a camp-
fire that must be constantly tended to and
stoked. If left alone, the fire will eventual-
ly burn itself out and grow cold. When the
love grows cold, there doesn't seem to be
much left to save. Don't let your fire grow
cold.
11 Reasons Marriages Fail
—Josh Daffern