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The Amish Voice 8
I have been learning a LOT about true
surrender; what it involves, what it looks
like, and how much it costs.
What does true surrender involve? It
involves truly
letting go of
someone
or
something (a
situation, goal,
desire,
or
dream)
and
giving
it
totally to the
Lord. It does
not
mean
giving up life
or hope. It
means
realizing that
God has a wonderful plan for us, if we are
willing to give Him a chance.
What does true surrender look like? It can
take many forms, I am sure. It can be
very, very painful and tearful, especially
if we need to let go of hope,
desire, dreams, or a loved one. God will
not work out a situation if we cannot let it
go. If I do not give Him my husband, my
children, my goals and dreams, or my
problems, how can He freely work on
them? We have way more control than we
realize. However, as we give ourselves
and our problems to the Lord, we are
releasing God to work on others and on
their problems. If we won't let go, how
will God take over?
How much does true surrender cost? This
is a big question, and it does not have an
easy answer. True surrender often comes
at a great cost. It often involves letting go
of dreams, hopes, and people we love
with no assurance we will ever get them
back. For the last six years, I have faced
huge disappointments, losses, and broken
dreams. I felt like I was dying, and that
life was not worth living. I went through
the agony of being rejected and
misunderstood in a very public way. I
tried to let go, but I felt
incomplete. It hurt incredibly
beyond what I believed was
possible. I went through the
process of letting go over and
over, only to reach out and take
my problem back, time and time
again. The agony this has caused
me has been overwhelming.
I wish so badly that years ago I
had been able to hear and
understand
what
I
heard
yesterday. I am greatly blessed in
having a mentor. She is a sweet,
older lady from my church who
has been through some of the same
horrific pain I have. She has put into
words the beauty of true surrender and
what God can do when we truly let go.
The long and the short of it is this: I have
been in torment for years. Does God bring
torment? Never. If we are in torment, it
means we have a door open to the enemy.
My open door was that I kept taking
things back after I thought I had given
them to the Lord; I kept feeding
unfulfilled dreams and desires. My
mentor asked me why on earth I would
want to keep doing that to myself. I really
cannot answer that one for you! I do have
fears. That I know for certain. I fear that
God will never give me the desires of my
heart. I fear that I will never be fulfilled. I
fear that I will go through life with an
unending, aching void. I am not willing to
do that. If I truly let go, God can work out
the situation for me. He can return things
to me if they are truly mine to have. He
can work in my husband's heart. God can
remove the desires and dreams from my
heart that are not part of His will for me
to experience in this life. This sweet lady
speaks with authority, because she has
lived many years as a widow. In fact, her
husband died the same month my
husband and I were married! She has
struggled and struggled with the
unfairness and seeming emptiness of it
all, but God has done amazing things in
her life. She experienced much loneliness,
hurt, and unmet longings, but she pushed
past all of that and gave it to God
completely. She experiences God in a
way many people do not believe is
possible. She helped me to see the
intensely personal way God ministers to
me. It is an expression of how much He
loves me and believes in me that He
allows me to go through the things I do.
She has given me courage to lay down my
own will for the will of my loving Father.
After all, He is mighty stubborn (although
always right), and as I learned, we can do
it the easy way or the hard way, He is
prepared to keep on as long as He needs
to! He loves me too much to allow me to
go in my own way. He wants me to
experience all He has for me, and that is
only possible through surrender. Will you
surrender to Him, too?
—Love, Norma
Give it to ME, Says the Lord
—By Norma Miller
Illustration by Lydia