Page 5 - Dees News March 2012

Page 5

Dee ’ s News

Vo l ume 3 I ssue 2

It all ended in the grocery store.

Joyce was waiting patiently be-

side Gary as the cashier rang up

their purchases. But Gary could-

n't wait. He suddenly swore and

pushed past her, accidentally

knocking the checkbook from

her hand and throwing her off

balance. He looked back without

a word and started bagging the

groceries. Joyce fumed

Gary couldn't even say, "Excuse me," or "I'm sorry," or

"Are you okay?" and Joyce had had enough. For her, that

single incident ended the relationship. It symbolized the ac-

cumulation of six years of rudeness. Although Gary had

been polite while they dated, once the

wedding

was over he

became a different person.

"He is more polite to strangers than he is to me," Joyce said

with a mixture of hurt and

anger.

When Joyce demanded

that Gary move out of the couple's house, he quickly learned

that even in our fast-paced world, concepts like manners and

courtesy still have their place. But most of us have gotten

lazy.

In the

book o

f Ephesians it says

"Let not corrupt communication

proceed out of your mouth"

(Ephesians 4:29). In the following

book, the apostle Paul makes a

similar appeal: "Only let your con-

versation be as it becometh the

gospel of Christ" (Philippians

1:27).

In recent years, our culture has become more casual in how

we relate to one another, but in that casualness we seem to

have forgotten our manners. We don't say "please" and

"thank you." We interrupt. We don't open doors for our

spouse and we don't let him or her go first. We get loud and

pushy. We don't ask or

listen.

We have become oblivious to

the needs of others. And the worst problem of all is that we

don't even notice how offensive our lack of manners has

become.

If you

love y

our spouse, take a moment to consider your

actions. Think about how you speak and act to him, and

then ask yourself the following five questions:

*Are you respectful, or are you rude?

*Are you polite, or are you inappropriate?

*Are you mannerly, or are you crude?

*Are you patient, or are you demanding?

*Are you courteous, or are you selfish?

By asking these

questions,

you'll be able to focus on the are-

as of your life that need some fine-tuning. Henry James, the

nineteenth-century American novelist, said this: "Three

things in human life are important. The first is to be kind.

The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind." In 1

Corinthians 13, the famous love chapter of the Bible, the

apostle Paul agrees: "Love is kind" (1 Corinthians 13:4).

My mother always told me to mind

my manners and be polite. If you

are kind and polite to your spouse,

she will be kind and polite to you. If

you don't mind your manners, the

seeds of disrespect are being plant-

ed. And sooner or later, those seeds

will contaminate even the best-kept

field of

marriage.

In the May issue more of

For a Great Marriage: Mind

Your Manners.

sion.

Dr. Steve Stephens is a licensed psychologist, marriage and

family counselor, radio host,

seminar s

peaker and

author o

f

nine books. His best-selling Lists to Live By series, compiled

with John Van Diest and Alice Gray, has sold more than

600,000 copies. He lives in Clackamas, Oregon, with his wife

and their three

children,

where he also serves as president of

Every Marriage Matters.